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PLEASE HELP!

It's been years, but I'm desperate. My cat is really sick, and I'm trying to save his life by raising funds for his care. I just can't afford it on my own. Here's the link: https://fundrazr.com/campaigns/4Ogk5
Discussed authors and fanfic with K this morning. She recently read the Twilight series and had a fit when she read Breaking Dawn. She hates it as much as I do. K believes Stephenie Meyer should write a different version of Breaking Dawn since the actual version was so badly received. She thinks Stephenie should make sure to keep her readers happy, even if it means writing another book. K believes there should be some standard authors have to meet in order to publish their books. Personal feelings on it aside, I think it's excessive to expect an author to write another book because their previous one sucked. If you order a shirt online and they send you the wrong color, then the company owes you the correct shirt. But there's no expectations with books - other than expecting authors to stick to their own logic but I'm getting off track - so what would the standards be for fiction? It's an interesting thought, even if it's not possible. It would keep horrible books from being published but it might discourage new authors.

Now for serious issues - a few months ago, D's snoring got loud enough for me to hear from the bathroom down the hall with three doors shut in between us. He'd wake me up from a dead sleep with it. Needless to say, I told him to go to the doctor, who sent him a referral for a sleep study. The sleep study told us that D has sleep apnea and stops breathing an average of fourteen times an hour. It scared the hell out of us. The doctor kept telling us we're lucky to have caught it so soon since it can cause respiratory failure and heart attacks. I'm still scared for him but tomorrow he's getting this little machine that will help him breathe while he sleeps and stop his snoring. Today will be spent cleaning, since housekeeping has taken a backseat to school, work, and sleep lately and the house really needs some scrubbing.

I've been going to therapy for a while now and I feel a little more in control of myself but my therapist been pushing me to see a psychiatrist and get on anti-depressants. She swears up and down it will help me feel better. And I'll admit, it sounds wonderful. Not crying over everything, being able to watch movies and read books without having the find out the ending first since sad things have been sending me into depressions that last for weeks, not bouncing between eating nothing and eating everything... it sounds amazing. But I'm not sure how I feel about drugging myself just to make it through the day. I'm not against drugs, I've seen medication help friends, but I can't help feeling like it's selfish of me to need therapy and medication when my life is good in comparison to so many others.

I've started reading The Southern Vampire Mysteries and I'd really like to know why everyone and their brother wants to fuck Sookie. Tall, tan, slender, and blonde isn't everyone's cup of tea. Thank heaven for that, since I'm short, pale, doughy as fuck and brunette.
Stealing body parts? So fucking creepy.
My moods have been all over the place for the past few months and right now I'm having one hell of an emo night. I don't even know why. So I just keep skimming my bookshelves, harddrive, and fanfic favorites to occupy my mind with something happy. It just seems like everything written is filled with misery.

Jan. 1st, 2009

Happy New Year!

Resolutions for this year include eating healthier, losing weight, and not being so impatient.

Dec. 29th, 2008

Can you be racist towards your own race?

Earlier tonight, D needed prescriptions so he took a cab to Walgreens. Apparently, the cab driver got angry that D asked how much the ride would be instead of inquiring about his day. According to D, the driver said, "Black people have no manners, white people are nice, they have manners. They strike up a conversation with you. I work with 95% white people and we all talk about the difference between white customers and black. I'm ashamed to be black because we have no manners."

D complained to the company but he doesn't think anything was done and he doesn't want to pursue it because he takes cabs frequently. I hate monopolies.
D and I had a shopping day today. We went to the flea market, where I got some of that amazing Amish bread and two "cashmere" scarves for $5 a piece.

Then it was off to Barnes and Noble and the grocery store. I made a stir-fry with peppers, steak, broccoli, and onions. Now I'm settling in to read one of my two new books - Generation Kill or The Hour I First Believed.

D's mom and I have been trying to find a reasonably priced florist for the wedding. I want this wedding to be special, but I just can't see spending $9 per carnation. The roses we first looked at? $192 a dozen.

Merry Christmas!!

Gifts have been exchanged and the food has been cooked and devoured. All I have left to do is bake the cake for dessert, do the dishes, and shower. Right now I can't imagine getting up to do any of that. Christmas food coma > my motivation to move.
I live in a pretty nice area. It's a mix of races, the crime level is lower than average for my state, and nearly everyone on my block is friendly. I love it here. The only problem? My street only gets plowed once per storm, no matter how much snow accumlates after the plow. We got six inches of snow last week, then another four the same night. The four inches came after the plow. And the salt truck never comes. So right now, there's a layer of ice two inches thick on the street. I've seen three cars slide over the past two days. And another car actually skid so far as to hit my neighbors car, taking off her mirror. I didn't see that one, but this situation is beyond dangerous and ridiculous.

I took a cab to do some last minute grocery shopping this morning. (The cab that dropped me back home - the street is so bad, I won't risk driving - got stuck on the ice.) Yellow cake with fresh fruit for dessert tomorrow. That's in addition to ham, string beans, mashed sweet potatos, biscuits, and salad. I love holiday eating, even if I'm the one that has to do all the cooking.

D and I are going on a diet on the 1st. I have a lot more weight to lose than he does, but maybe doing it with him will help motivate me to stick to it.

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mlynn1985
mlynn1985

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